Pride is something I’ve always struggled with. It seemed to me growing up that any time I felt proud of myself I was warned not to get to big a head, not to get too full of myself, not to brag. I was told that people were proud of me, but often for things that required no effort on my part or that I wasn’t especially proud of myself. Sometimes it felt like someone else being proud of me was like them taking credit for something I had done. All in all a very complicated word.
As an adult I’ve had the experience of being very proud of my children. I probably didn’t tell them so often enough, but it certainly gave me a new perspective on the emotion. It’s not so much that I’m proud of myself for what I may have contributed to their upbringing. It’s more that I am proud to know them as independent of me. I am proud that there are things that they do that I couldn’t have, or wouldn’t have done. I am proud to watch them come into their own. I am proud to see them meet the challenges life tosses their way.
Now I’m learning again, about how to be proud of myself.
It’s the book, Manifest Divinity. I have something concrete I can point to and say, “I did that.” I also have a responsibility (to myself and my publisher) to promote my work. There’s a conundrum!
September has been quite the adventure. I’ve got a new interview posted with my publisher An Interview with Lisa Spiral Besnett. I’ve done a book signing. I’ve been doing podcasts on the blog talk radio at The Priestess Show. I have had to stand up and be proud of my work. I’ve had to talk about it with humility, but not shyness. I’ve had to say with conviction, “You should go buy my book.”
So here I am filled with gratitude for all the support and attention people have shown for both me and my work. I am humbled by how many people will stand up for my book without even having read it, just because they know me.
The best of course
is that Orion says I’m his favorite author. I am proud.
I am also continuing to ask for help and support. To encourage people to get the book, spread the word, write reviews and send me hints about marketing. In the meantime I suppose I should get to work on writing a book proposal for the next one.