Out of My Head

I’ve been trying to get out of my head all week.  Not an easy task apparently.  Missing the cat hasn’t helped.  Rainy days (day after day after day) hasn’t helped.  Not sleeping (the rain doesn’t help the background pain at all) doesn’t help.  I know I did some things last week.  I maybe even did some cool and important things last week.  I just don’t remember much except the grey.

It occurred to me, in a flash of sunlight, how important the little things are.    I watered the plants.

taken from my car window as I pulled in.

I fed the feral cat that took refuge from the rain in my garage.  (No worries, he was gone as soon as the sun came out.) I took Orion to Trader Joe’s.

You have to understand that Friday afternoon our Trader Joe’s does wine tasting.  Most of the time the wine tasting host is a lovely Italian man named Lorenzo.  He teases Orion in Italian and Orion adores him (so of course I do too.)   What’s not to like about that little excursion.  I get groceries, wine, entertainment, a happy Orion and flirting with an Italian.  Life starts looking up.

The other thing I know that gets me out of my own head is helping others.  A Gilda’s Club just opened in Minneapolis (practically in my back yard.)  Some of you will remember Gilda Radner from Saturday Night Live.  When she was dying of breast cancer she found a club for women like herself to just hang out and support each other.  She left them a legacy and they became Gilda’s Clubs.  They’re scattered across the united states and most of them are open and welcoming to anyone of any age who’s dealing with cancer, supporting someone with cancer, or survived having cancer.

I am a cancer survivor myself.  I had colon cancer in my 20’s.  My Mom is a breast cancer survivor.  My cousin is just clear of throat cancer.  There are members of the family who’ve dealt with prostate cancer, pancreatic cancer and lung cancer.  My best friend from college died of  Kaposi sarcoma, the skin cancer that is associated with HIV/Aids.  (It’s what Tom Hanks character had in Philadelphia.)  I easily qualify as a member of the club no one wants to belong to.

Since they had their grand opening a week ago I figured I’d stick my head in on my rounds and check it out.  It’s a beautiful building, well designed and appointed.  I sat in on a cooking/nutrition class that was very well done.  I even got a recipe.  I took a tour and saw all their group rooms, the yoga studio, the art room, the teen center and the children’s corner.  They may be understaffed and marginally attended now, but they have the facility to really take off in a very short time.  I put my name in the pool as a volunteer for the front desk.  Hey, it’s walking distance from my house.

Karina’s new baby

Maybe I’ve started a new adventure.  Maybe I’ve come full circle.  It’s not as extreme as Karina’s solution.   I’ve become a doggie Grandma to Minnie Mouse.   I’m not stuck in my head anymore.