Monthly Archives: July 2014
This weekend I received my “Happy Anniversary” notice from WordPress. Apparently I’ve been blogging weekly for 3 years! Who knew 3 years ago that I’d still be doing this?
Last year I wrote about 3 years being like a trilogy. If that’s true this past year has certainly been a climax. It also implies that this next year is a new start. That’s definitely the feeling I have in my life, so why not in my blog?
I have so much to be grateful for in this past year. You, my loyal readers, have been incredibly supportive of my journey! My second book, When Gods Come Knocking: An Exploration of Mysticism from a Deist Perspective, was published (and is available in paperback or Kindle at Amazon 🙂 ). The ending, and new beginning is marked by the bariatric surgery that went so much better than I had any reason to expect.
So here I am at a new beginning looking forward to another year of weekly blogs. What will I write about? Will there be new insights? New friends? New adventures? I hope so. And I hope that you will continue to read along as I write about my journey.
Thank you again for all the support.
There are a lot of ways to look at initiation. The Online Merriam-Webster defines:
: the process of being formally accepted as a member of a group or organization : the process of being initiated
: a ceremony or series of actions that makes a person a member of a group or organization
I’ve always been attracted to potential. It’s part of the reason I’m so bad at “partner relationships”. Always looking at, and comparing to, potential takes me out of the moment. But that doesn’t make potential a bad word. In fact, this week it’s the word I will cling to.
I go in for my surgery Tuesday. Doing this is banking on potential. I am opening the door to possibilities that wouldn’t exist in my current situation. The challenge is going to be living up to it. Paying attention, learning new body cues, staying alert and in the moment will be the only way I will reach that potential.
I am enlisting the aid of my inner child. I want to play again. I want to not be afraid to try things that I may not yet be able to accomplish, and not give up until I can succeed. I want to dance through the next part of my life, regardless of the music or the lack thereof.
There’s a part of me that’s afraid of being that open and out there. There’s a part of me that is afraid of what I will give up to achieve those goals. There’s a part of me that’s afraid I won’t be able to succeed. There’s a part of me that’s afraid I will.
Life is an adventure in becoming. Thank you all for staying with me on this journey and for your well wishes and support.
UPDATE: Surgery went well. All the magic, prayers and well wishes worked and they were able to do a laproscopic procedure. Thank you for the support!
UPDATE UPDATE: Surgery was Tuesday and I got to come home on Thursday evening. That seems so quick, but it would be what someone who expected to go in for a laproscopic procedure would have been told was normal. Again, despite the complications, I seem to be doing remarkably well. Thank you again for all the good thoughts and support!
Preparing for this surgery I’m maintaining a low-calorie, high protein, liquid diet. My mind dreams of salty crunchy, but that’s not on the menu. Whoever would have guessed I’d get hungry for a protein supplement? But my diet is not the only thing I find myself needing to “liquidate.”
As I prepare myself for this new adventure I’m inclined to shift a few things around in my environment as well. I got this computer desk years ago. It was the center of household expenses, school records, medical reports and any project I or any member of my family might take on. I don’t need all that anymore. Orion’s day program doesn’t generate the same level of paperwork that school did. Karina is on her own. I have a whole room devoted to my writing. Really I just need a clean space to pay the bills.
You can see, the clean space was hard to come by on the old desk. That is one thing gone and something else to take its place. In the kitchen the 40-year-old blender and the coffee pot have been replaced with the Vita-mix. In my bedroom I’m looking at my clothes differently. I don’t really need to keep every t-shirt as it ages “for gardening”. If a sweater has a little hole in it, it probably won’t fit me anymore next winter anyway. Those stretched out sweat pants with holes in the knees are going to fall off and should probably land in the garbage. I find myself rearranging my life as I prepare to make room for more living.
I much prefer cooking to cleaning. I find cleaning easier than this sorting and removing. On the bright side, I have noticed that not cooking makes it a lot easier to keep the kitchen clean. I’m hoping that making things less cluttered will open up more than space. I’m hoping it will help open me up to the possibilities that await on the other side of this endeavor.
Everyone I’ve talked to has assured me that what I’m doing is life-changing. I can see that already, in the small things. Even with the few pounds of weight I’ve dropped in the past 6 months I find myself more able to do things. It’s easier to get up and get out.
This week my women’s group is celebrating Vishnu. The invitation says “Bring something to burn in Vishnu’s fire”.
The idea is to make room for Vishnu to bring abundance into our lives. Cotton t-shirts will burn, won’t they?