Monthly Archives: May 2015
I am incredibly fortunate to still have both of my parents within a days drive. With Mother’s Day just past I’ve watched many of my friends struggle with the grief of no longer having their Mom a phone call away. My folks aren’t as active as they once were. The three-hour drive means my Mom spends the next week “recovering”. Given my health ups and downs this last year, we haven’t seen as much of each other as we’d like.
When my Dad called and asked if Orion would be interested in participating in challenging a Guinness World Book record it seemed like a good opportunity to get in the car. My Dad and Orion have a history of doing interesting things together. Orion spent many summers attending Waldsee, a German language immersion village. Dad went along as his aide, his Opa. They still march together in the community parades when we visit in the summer. Being in the longest moving wheelchair line sounded like fun.
Orion and I went up on Friday. The “North woods” are pretty in the spring as the leaves come out on the birches. We had the afternoon to visit and dinner, but early to bed knowing Saturday was going to be a busy day. We sent Orion and Dad off to Grand Rapids, MN and Mom and I went to Brainerd. It’s a treat for me to spend the day alone with Mom, a treat for Orion to have a day with Opa, a treat for Mom to be able to run errands at her own pace, and Dad is always happy with an adventure.
We had a lovely, leisurely day. We did a little shopping. We went out for lunch. We picked up some ice cream to have with the rhubarb pie I made. We talked and reminisced and I got Mom looking for some old photos of her grandparents. She was still worn out by the end of the day, but in a good way.
Opa and Orion and some 349 other wheelchair users beat the record. Of course there’s a review process by the Guinness World Book people before it’s official, but Orion knows he’s a champion! I made Dad take photos of the event and I posted Orion’s number (101) on his wall.
A weekend isn’t a long enough visit, but it’s enough to touch base. I’m also grateful again that my parents are still here, and close enough to do just a weekend. We may meet for lunch again before Orion and I get back up to the “North woods”. That’s how we’ve managed these last 6 months when “I need to SEE how you are doing.” has been the theme.
Knowing how fragile these opportunities can be I am more motivated, more committed, to make sure they happen. If you still have your Mom or Dad, be sure to call them just to check-in and say “I love you.”
I need help.
That’s a really hard thing to say. It’s hard to admit it when I’m overwhelmed. It’s hard to need help and find there is none available. It’s hard to accept help without being able to give something back in return.
I’m doing “catch-up” on years of neglect in my house and in my yard. There is no way I can do it all. I’m puttering away at little jobs and hoping eventually I’ll get to the rest. But there’s always something new adding to that “to do” list.
This weekend I chose to ignore a “should”. I “should” have attended a public ritual. I’m on the board for the group that sponsored it. I “should” have gone to the planning meeting, offered to contribute, at least brought something for the pot-luck. I “should” have, and I pointedly did not.
Instead I stayed home and asked for help. This was when help was available so this needed to be when I was available to receive it. I don’t even feel bad for making this choice. It was necessary.
I didn’t take pictures. I didn’t document progress. I didn’t let anyone know until it was done.
My nephew and his family drove an hour and a half (each way) to spend a few hours doing hard labor in my yard. The gutters got cleaned out. The beds got raked. The liners got installed. The manure got spread around. The toddlers mostly stayed out of trouble. Everyone got fed. I said thank you so much, and they drove away.
So no, I don’t feel bad for neglecting the should. I feel incredibly grateful for the help and support. I feel fortunate to be able to “track” toddlers. I feel lighter knowing that some of those “too big” jobs have been taken care of. I feel loved.
It’s my sister who is the Mom here. It’s the mother of 2 toddlers (and a third who spent the day with his Dad) who manages to get the entire family packed up, in the car and still wield a rake; she is the Mom here. But I got a great mother’s day gift all the same.
My kids did not neglect me in any way. But Zac and Darcy went out of their way to help out because I said I needed it. I can’t say thank you enough.
This year when I think about fertility rituals I am also recognizing the impact of my recent hysterectomy. I’ve always been happy to include new beginnings and creative endeavors in my fertility rituals. This year required a little more depth of thought.
I have been blogging about reclaiming my garden spaces. It really has been a long time since I’ve worked in some of them. I’m grateful for the things that continue to come up, in spite of the total neglect. That persistence is part of my understanding of fertility. The strong desire to live, and to thrive.
There’s also an appreciation for the new. The first flowers, the baby peas, and planting the annuals are all a part of spring awakening. When the trees start to blossom it’s like fireworks. The allergens may make my head a little “thick”, but my heart opens up. Even the dandelions make me smile.
As I’m digging in the ground it occurs to me that fertile earth is ready. It’s full of potential, ready to accept and nurture whatever I may choose to plant. It is willing to be willing. I think this year that’s my challenge.
I’ve been through a lot, and it’s time to move forward. It’s time to open up and accept whatever is offered. It’s about being ready, being willing to be willing. Hopefully all this new growth around me will inspire me to continue to take chances and accept the challenges and opportunities life throws my way.
Previous blogs about Beltane and the first of May: