Exercise is a “bad” word in my book. I won’t say it’s a “trigger”. I don’t have a dramatic response to it. But there is definitely a knee-jerk temper-tantrum, “NO!” that happens deep in my soul.
I certainly have the trauma. Years and years of everything from embarrassment, failure, and humiliation in PE classes take a toll. I have more PE injuries (some of them quite dramatic) than success stories in my background.
Even trying to keep up physically with my friends has always been a challenge. There’s the bike trip where the athletes were riding 12 speeds and I had everything I could do to get my 3 speed up the hills. There were the tree forts I couldn’t play in because I have NEVER been able to climb a rope. There was the ski trip where I finally told my boyfriend to go ahead I’d be in the hot tub when he got off the slopes.
Then there have been rounds and rounds of physical therapy. Insurance is happy to pay for 6 visits of PT if you’ve got a joint issue, but they won’t pay for any kind of accountable follow-up program. I’m good for about 3 months (including the actual time in PT). Then I feel better and stop.
Unfortunately I’ve come to recognize that my sedentary habits are not helping me maintain all the gains I made from having the bariatric surgery. My surgeon and my chiropractor agree. Just because I would rather sit at home with a good book than do anything that might be slightly physically demanding doesn’t mean I should. Of course recognizing an issue and actually dealing with it are two entirely different problems!
So this week I’ve parked a little farther out (except when Orion is in the car.) This week I’ve made myself step out into the neighborhood for a short walk or two. This weekend I scheduled “out and about” events for myself just to be a little more active.
We’ll see how long I can keep it up. As long as it’s not “exercise”.