We live in a world where time is measured with precision to the second. Even so, our experience of time seems much more subjective. In this season when the nights are long and dark there is a natural slowing down. In this season when the holiday rush is upon us there seems to be an imposed speeding up. Maybe it’s this juxtaposition that has me struggling to make a schedule, stay on track and get anything accomplished.
I love the nights at this time of year, especially when there is snow on the ground muffling the sounds. There is a peacefulness that descends with nightfall. Lighting a fire in the fireplace and wrapping up in a warm blanket, hot drink in hand is clearly what’s called for on evenings like this. I look at my “to do” list and think that all I really want is to curl up with a good book.
I have shopping to do. Of course there is holiday shopping, but there is also the every day kind of shopping that is somehow more complicated this time of year. Even the grocery store seems more crowded, parking is harder to find and stopping in anywhere requires shopping to a soundtrack of carols. Getting anything seems to take forever. In addition to these complications are my allergies.
Thankfully I’m not allergic to pine, as are several of my friends. They come out of the stores stuffy and sneezy and it doesn’t let up until January. My allergy is cinnamon, and it’s bad. Even the scent of cinnamon will puff up my face and start my tongue swelling, my throat closing. At least it’s easy to identify and I can usually walk away. But the grocery stores have started stocking cinnamon brooms and cinnamon scented pine cones!
Maybe if I should start exploring grocery delivery. Then I could stay home curled in my blanket while the delivery drivers did my shopping. But I don’t want to return to the days when I couldn’t do anything. I enjoy being able to be out and about (and carry my 1 grocery bag to the car rather than going to drive-through). I have the energy to spend browsing the shelves for gifts. I just don’t have the time.
The weather has been delightful, sunny and not too hot. The winds have been breezy and busily tossing all the dust and other allergens into the air. I have been popping pills and dropping eye drops in my eyes. I look like I have pink eye without the eye drops. The dark circles make me look like I haven’t slept in weeks. It’s really just the fall allergies.
I don’t feel bad. I just don’t feel good. It’s like my batteries are running low. Nothing is moving quite as quickly as I would like. I can’t work up the level of enthusiasm for a project that is required to actually get to it. I find myself losing hours sipping on tea and scratching at my face. My reading is even slow, given the condition of my eyes I suppose that’s not surprising.
Not that I haven’t been busy! I did a podcast (one of these day’s I’ll figure out how to put links into this blog) for the Priestess Show. The topic was disabilities and the show is archived at paganstonight.com. I’ll be on again later this month as we will continue to discuss the topic.
Orion and I spent all afternoon Saturday in Minnehaha Park visiting our friends at Pagan Pride. I’d be writing about that, but it’s not just my batteries that are low. I forgot to pack an extra set for the camera. It’s extremely frustrating when I go out specifically to take pictures for a blog I’m writing in my head only to find the camera doesn’t work. You’d think I’d learn to check.
Afterwards we decided to go out to eat at the restaurant where Karina (my daughter) is working as a waitress. It was really nice to see her and the food was good. Fat Lorenzo’s is an Italian restaurant. All kinds of cheese and pasta. I even had a beer. Of course their speciality is the gelato. You’d think that I might pay attention to food that could aggravate my allergies when they act up? Why, that would be like actually checking the batteries in my camera. It never seems to occur to me when it matters.
Some of the things I do when my batteries are low:
reading (although when it’s the eyes that itch that’s a little tough)
Sipping hot tea (The Republic of Tea makes a green tea honey & ginseng that’s particularly nurturing)
Making myself GET OUT even if it’s just to get groceries (of course a day in the park could be considered excessive)
Taking a long bath (The library doesn’t appreciate it when their books join me in the tub)
Meditation (Distinct from going back to bed, which I also do occasionally but I find mediation to be more productive)
Cooking something I REALLY want (I’ve been thinking about crab bisque, but there’s that darn dairy again)
What do you do when your batteries run low?
It’s been so unseasonably wonderfully warm for the last several weeks. I’ve had the furnace off and the windows open. I’ve even took Orion on a walk to the park. But today it’s cold (technically it’s still warm for the season, but the furnace is back on) and rainy and gray.
I have so much to do! I have laundry, the refrigerator needs to be cleaned out, the dishes need to be done. I have to work up a web site, I have to write a workshop, I have to write a blog! All I want to do is curl up in front of a fire with a good book.
Sadly, I did neither. I get myself into these conflicts between the shoulds and the wants and I forget to check in with what I might NEED. I suspect that there are some things I could have done with the day that would have made me feel better. If I had done them, I might have gotten more of the other things done as well.
My allergies are bad, the early blooming is throwing tons of pollen into the air and the damp has the molds sporing. I get thick in the head and I don’t think to do simple things like take an antihistamine or a shot from the inhaler. It’s even difficult to concentrate on ready when it gets bad. Days like this I turn on a
computer game and hours go by without me even noticing.
I did manage to deal with the kitty litter this morning so someone in the house is happy with my accomplishments for the day. Every time I do that it puts my back out. I get achy and really out of alignment. Did I stretch or take a pain med? No. I did a couple of loads of laundry. In the basement. With the mold.
Maybe I should start a daily practice just asking myself “What do you need right now?” Right now it seems that what I need is to publish this blog, foggy as it is, and hope to do a little better next week.