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Re-do

1988

1988

It’s occurred to me in this past week that I’m spending a lot of time going “been there, done that” with this current health set-back.  I knew, as soon as my leg swelled up, that I was dealing with a blood clot (a DVT) because I’ve “been there, done that”.

I’m finding the same thing to be true with the weight-loss journey.  I’ve lost a large amount of weight several times in my life.  I lost 70 lbs   with medical complications before they found and identified that I had cancer.  Several years later, when I actually GOT the cancer diagnosis, after surgery and chemotherapy I realized I had to do something about my weight and again lost about 70 lbs.

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Cancer and blood clot probably present but undiagnosed    1990

Cancer and blood clot probably present but undiagnosed 1990

The experience of planning to start an exercise program and being sidelined with medical complications is not new to me at all.  The two steps forward one step back process of building a lifestyle, or a career, or a new routine is the story of my life.  There is a reason I have the magical name Spiral.

This weight is where I was in my mid 20’s, when I got married for the first time.   As I go digging through old clothes desperately seeking something that will fit I am reminded of where I was in my life each time I crossed “this number”.   I may be the same weight, but my body is not the same shape.  I’m no longer in my 20’s, or in my 30’s, but I still catch myself falling back on old patterns.

Apparently I get married at this weight 2000

Apparently I get married at this weight 2000

Most people have “life lessons” that come around again and again.  The hope is that each time we confront these issues we have a different perspective on the problem.  Each time we are tested we learn new skills and have new (better?) ways to tackle our problems.

I am better at accepting the compliments when people tell me I’m looking good.  I’m better at recognizing the traps in the back-handed compliments (“You’re wasting away!”).  I’m much more willing to accept ownership of my journey and not depend on others for confirmation of how I am doing.  I’m much more willing to seek help and advice from others who have had similar experiences.

I’m less flexible – change at this age is harder than it was when my kids were little.  I don’t have as much resilience, especially physically.   It takes longer to take those two steps forward after a set-back.   As a single woman, I don’t have the same kind of support.  (This is as much a plus as a minus, depending on the day!)

My goals are different.  My motivation is different.  My perspective is different.  I may have “been there, done that”.  I just hope that this time I don’t do it quite the same way.

I still haven't mastered the selfie 2015

I still haven’t mastered the selfie 2015

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