Dad is home and doing well. Thank you for all the support and good wishes.
I have allergies. I’ve been doing allergy shots for 5 years or so. Things are definitely better, but there are still a few weeks each year where I have to pull out all the stops. This is one of those weeks. Because of that, sitting in an air-conditioned hospital was not the most horrible thing for me to be doing.
I’ve missed some pretty dramatic thunderstorms these past weeks. Either I’ve slept so hard I didn’t hear them or, like the night the tornado sirens went off, the worst has passed me by. I’ve been grateful not to need to water the garden as I run out the door in the morning.
The lawn hasn’t been mowed, but the truth of the matter is that given the allergy conditions I probably wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. I often quip that breathing is over-rated, but the truth is I’m kind of attached to it.
I’ve been watching Dad work the spirometer post surgery. He’s a champ. So the other day I got out mine, “just to check”. When your 79-year-old father whose just had open heart surgery literally blows harder it’s definitely time to hit the inhaler. I had to work hard to get my numbers above the “you should really consider taking yourself to the emergency room” line.
Despite the allergies, being back to our “normal” routine feels like taking a deep breath. The list of things I’ve “put off tending to” is long, but doable. Orion and I went to the movies this weekend (so I could avoid making dinner as this theater comes with a menu.) which was fun for both of us.
Now it’s Monday. Rather than grumble I’ll be grateful for a new week to start. I’ll be grateful for the summer weather and flowers that are pretty even through the window. I’ll be grateful that my family is all where they belong and doing well. And I’ll remember to breathe.
Have you ever had that perfect storm of a day where every one thing adds on to the trouble of the last, ending in disaster? Have you ever had a lovely simple plan fall into a deep abyss of obstacles and limitations until you just had to let go?
That was last Friday for me. I had the perfect storm of physical trauma and pain landing me in the ER for the weekend. Now I’m back at Monday knowing the only thing I can do is pick up the pieces.
Resilience, the ability to recover quickly, to bounce back, is easy to measure in physical terms. It’s harder when you start looking at bouncing back from an emotional blow. The thing is, we live in our bodies and very often those physical traumas carry an emotional impact as well.
I find it helps to recognize that I have choices about my point of view. I can choose to see this as starting over from scratch, or I can choose to see it as a fresh start. I can choose to focus on the limitations or I can be grateful for all the help and support I receive. I can choose to continue to be miserable, or I can choose to pick myself up and move forward – wherever that might take me.
It’s like rebooting the computer. Sometimes things get stuck, there’s a little glitch. A quick turn it off and turn it back on again straightens the world around and gets things moving. I’d like to think that’s what this weekend was for me. A reboot. A little “enforced time out” to regroup and get my body back on track. A reminder to take things slowly and not try to do too much, too fast.
The tricky part is not to do too little either. It’s okay to get a little tired. It’s not okay to get tired because I’m bored from sitting around all day doing nothing. It’s okay to take it slow, it’s not okay to always take the easy way out. It’s another one of those balancing acts that changes every day. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised if I don’t always get it quite right!