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Renewal

Helps to burn away the everyday dreck

Helps to burn away the everyday dreck

We all need an occasional “time out” to renew our spirits.  Often times this is our hope when we take a vacation.  It’s clearly a goal when we go on a retreat.  But what may serve to renew us can vary from person to person and even across an individual’s lifetime.

I have known for a long time that I’ve needed a “get-away”.  I’ve had plenty of opportunities to travel and take a break from the daily grind.  Unfortunately for my renewal meter they haven’t really helped.  Most of the traveling I’ve done in the past 5 years has been to promote my writing.  They’ve been working vacations.  I may not have had Orion along, I may have gotten inspired, but I haven’t had that sense of renewal.

I’ve been looking at a “real” vacation for awhile now.  I had plans to go to Italy last fall, but they went by the wayside as I’ve been struggling to find a way to do home repairs.  I haven’t given up.  I’m still studying the language.  But I also know that if I’m going to spend that kind of money I want to take time.  If I take enough time then I also need to take Orion.  That’s great for travel, but it’s not renewal.

As a birthday present to myself I gave myself a long weekend.  Orion went to his Weekend Ventures retreat with Reach for Resources and to his Dad.  I just had to figure out what I needed to do to find that renewal.

I tossed around driving or flying.  How far could I go on my limited budget?  Did I really want to spend the little time I had in transit?  I looked at AirBnB I looked at package deals, I looked at the weather.

I needed options, variety, to be able to be in the moment and meet my needs

I needed options, variety, to be able to be in the moment and meet my needs

Historically my renewal/retreat weekends have involved a small (cheap) cabin in the woods, a fireplace, breakfast included and a kitchen for the rest of my meals.  I’ve sat on porches and sipped coffee.  I’ve curled up in the sunshine and read books.  I’ve taken short walks in the woods.  I’ve been alone long enough to get past the list of “shoulds” and into the bottled up emotions of my life.

Those options just aren’t available anymore.  All the places I used to go have gone out of business.  Any places I could still go seemed a little more structured, or a little more primitive, than I wanted.  Even visiting my parents house (which used to be a cheap get-away) has become focused on helping them out.  I can’t just sit and read undisturbed, or take a long soak in the tub.

Staying at home became more appealing, but I know myself well enough to recognize I’ve had plenty of weekends home without Orion that were not about renewal.  It’s very easy to be distracted at home.  It’s very easy to do the things that NEED to be done rather than the things that WANT to be done.  It’s also very easy to bury my head to avoid the whole issue.

So I made an attitude adjustment plan.  I know if I keep a fire going it shifts my focus.  I know if I stay off the computer (read internet) I’m less likely to waste my time off.  I know if I prepare ahead I can eliminate any URGENT household tasks.

So I cleaned the bathroom, changed the sheets on the bed, went to the grocery store and had a lovely renewal weekend at home.  I did get on the internet, but it was to write book reviews because I felt like writing.  I did light a fire one evening, but only because I really wanted to have that grounding task.  I took several long leisurely baths – book in hand.  I even took a walk.  I didn’t take phone calls, didn’t check email, didn’t read Facebook.

Staying gave me a lot more flexibility with leftovers too. (lobster risotto)

Staying gave me a lot more flexibility with leftovers too. (lobster risotto)

It was different than a retreat, but in some ways it was better.  Now I know I can have a renewal in my own home.  I can make choices that are about taking care of myself rather than just indulging the whim of the moment.  I can make myself get out the door just because it’s a nice day.

Those insights alone make taking a break well worth while!

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